The Roles You Took On That Were Never Yours
The Roles You Took On That Were Never Yours
Welcome back to Before the World Told You Who to Be — the podcast for those of us who are done trying to fit into roles we never signed up for and are ready to remember who we actually are.
I’m Stefanie, Human Design guide, coach, and woman who has lived this path of unlearning, unbecoming, and returning to my true self. And today we are talking about something that touches every single one of us...
The roles we took OR the way we use those roles in a way that was never actually US.
SECTION 1: What Roles Are You Performing?
Let me ask you this:
Are you the one who keeps everything running?
The emotional glue in your family?
The one who never says no?
The achiever, the fixer, the strong one?
We’re handed these roles from such a young age — not through a contract, but through patterns, praise, and pressure.
And after a while, they start to feel like identity. But they’re not. They’re performance. Survival. Conditioned habits. And they keep us from actually meeting ourselves.
SECTION 2: My Story — When the Mask Cracked
I used to believe I had to do it all. The business, the motherhood, the marriage, the showing up for everyone, the proving.
But one day, I woke up and realized I couldn’t feel myself in any of it.
It was after I lost my dad and my business in the same month. Two huge identity anchors. And without them?
I didn’t know who I was. Because I had built myself around the roles I thought I had to play.
That breaking was also my beginning.
SECTION 3: How Human Design Helped Me See the Real Me
When I found Human Design, it was like holding a mirror up to my soul.
I learned that my energy type, my profile, my decision-making authority — they weren’t wrong. They were just never supported.
HD didn’t tell me who to be. It helped me let go of who I wasn’t.
When I saw my chart for the first time, I cried. Because for the first time in a long time, I felt seen.
And now, I help others do the same.
SECTION 4: The Invitation
So I want to ask you today:
What roles are you still performing?
What identities are you still holding because you think they keep you safe?
What parts of you have gone quiet just to keep the peace?
I want to offer this reframe:
Your Human Design doesn’t tell you what to do. It reflects who you are here to be.
And you don’t need to earn that. It’s already who you are.
CLOSING:
Thank you for being here. This work isn’t easy — but it is sacred.
If today’s episode resonated, come tell me what role you’re ready to release. Post it in the Facebook group or DM me privately. I would love to hold space for it.
You don’t have to keep performing. You don’t have to keep pretending. You get to return.
I’ll see you next time.
xo,
Stefanie
