The Fears Hiding in Your Design (And Why You’re Not Broken)
Let’s talk about fear for a minute.
We often think of fear as something dramatic: fear of failure, fear of being seen, fear of rejection. And yes, those are real. But what if I told you some of your most influential fears are the ones you don’t even recognize as fear?
The fear that says:
“I don’t want to try again. I’ve done this before and it didn’t work.”
“I feel disconnected and numb… is this all there is?”
“What if people leave the moment I change direction?”
“Why do I always end up burnt out no matter what I do?”
These fears aren’t always loud.
In fact, they often sound like logic, “gut feelings,” or intuition.
But what they really are… is conditioning.
And in Human Design, many of us are actually coded with fear gates… themes that live within our bodygraph that, when unrecognized, can absolutely dominate how we move through life.
And for a long time, I didn’t know mine.
Let me get real with you.
In my first business, I worked with hundreds of people. I showed up fully, poured myself into it, did everything the “right” way.
And while many people got results, some didn’t.
And that… broke me a little.
I couldn’t figure out why. I made it mean something about me .. that I had failed them. I started doubting myself, overthinking every launch, holding back even when I had something powerful to say.
But when I discovered Human Design, I saw myself in a way I never had before.
I realized I was operating under the weight of fear gates I had no idea were there.
💥 Gate 44 — fear of the past repeating.
It whispered, “Don’t try again. Last time, it didn’t work. Why would this time be any different?”
So I played small. I hesitated. I didn’t show up fully.
💔 Gate 49 — fear of rejection.
This one made me want to shut down or pivot too quickly. “If I change again, will they still follow me? Or am I too inconsistent?”
🌀 Gate 55 — fear of emptiness.
This one hit me hardest. It’s the fear that the inspiration will run out, that the joy won’t return, that maybe I’ve already missed my window.
And when I was in an emotional low, I used to spiral. I thought something was wrong with me.
But now… I understand that these aren’t problems to fix.
They’re invitations to understand.
Here’s the thing, friend.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, uninspired, unsure of yourself.. I want you to consider something radical:
Maybe you’re not misaligned.
Maybe you’re just afraid and that fear has been running beneath the surface for so long, you forgot it was even there.
Your fears might not sound like “I’m scared.”
They might sound like logic.
They might sound like tiredness.
They might sound like procrastination or doubt or “not the right time.”
But under all of that? It’s your energy speaking.
What changed everything for me was when I stopped trying to force a strategy that didn’t fit… and started asking:
What is my energy asking of me?
Because when you can name the fear, it stops running the show in secret.
When you understand your design, your decisions shift.
And when your decisions shift… your results follow.
If I could go back to that first version of me the one burning herself out trying to serve everyone — I’d hold her face in my hands and say:
“You’re not the problem.
You’ve just never been given your roadmap.”
And maybe no one’s given you yours either.
But that can change.
If any part of this hits you if you’re nodding along or feeling tears well up because finally someone put it into words … I want to offer you a next step.
I don’t want to coach you.
I don’t want to “read” you.
I want to guide you back to yourself.
That’s what I do in my Human Design–Infused Clarity Session.
It’s not a coaching call.
It’s not a chart reading.
It’s a space where I gently walk you through the core areas of your life or business and help you see:
Where your energy is being drained
Where fear or conditioning might be hiding
What your next aligned step could look like
I’ve done these with dozens of women, and the most common thing I hear at the end is:
“I’ve never felt so seen.”
if you’re brand new to Human Design, grab your free chart and bingeable audio series to start exploring. Stefcarlstedt.com/lifehdreport
You don’t have to do this blindly anymore.
You get to know.
You get to understand.
You get to move forward in alignment with your truth.
Thanks for being here.
I’m honored to walk with you.
xo
Stef
